went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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