So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
