What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
