he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize