btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
