What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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