i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
