sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
