dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
