it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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