he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize