people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
