that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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