I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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