So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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