Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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