hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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