I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He better not be in your backpack
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
