Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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