I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
