you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
