Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If I die, sorry about rent.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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