A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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