you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and she was petting her beer can
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
