Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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