she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
