He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
