i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
