i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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