if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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