so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize