he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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