so explain again why im purple
no
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
