she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
