My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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