He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
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