Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize