Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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