Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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