I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
