Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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