Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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