We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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