Are we in a gay sports bar?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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