Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
