She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
