the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
