Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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