We should be called the Road Head Warriors
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
