"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
