the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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