return my video game
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
