she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize