We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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