The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize