i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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