I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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