just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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