Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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