i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I need to calm my uterus...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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