i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
