I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
