seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
