I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
