Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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